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Solomon's Choice In Religious Custody Battle
An Illinois family law judge must referee as two parents struggle over their child's religious upbringing - a legal custody issue. The father faces contempt of court after he had his child baptized.
May 24, 2010 /Religion PR News/ -- Joseph and Rebecca Reyes' custody battle to decide which religious tradition their daughter Ela will follow places her at the center of an Illinois court battle involving secret baptisms, flaunting photos and contempt of court. In fact, Joseph faces jail time on a contempt charge for violating a temporary restraining order prohibiting him from taking his daughter Ela to Catholic Mass.
Joseph was raised Catholic and his wife, Rebecca, is Jewish. Rebecca claims that Joseph converted to Judaism when they married and agreed to raise their children in the Jewish tradition. Since the couple divorced, both parties have attempted to raise Ela in their respective religions. At the height of the conflict, Joseph had Ela baptized in a Catholic ceremony and then emailed the photos to Rebecca. Joseph and Rebecca's religious differences have resulted in a literal Solomon's choice over Ela's religious upbringing.
This situation illustrates the perilous consequences of two parents who are unable to deal with each other in good faith. Throughout the years, judges have struggled to define their roles in highly contentious child custody cases. Some judges have gone so far as to refer to these cases as "salvaging operations," especially when parents cannot agree on the child's religious upbringing. Regardless of the circumstances, it cannot be easy for a judge to put himself in the place of parents who cannot agree on such a personal matter as the child's faith and upbringing.
California Child Custody Disputes Involving Physical Custody,Visitation and Legal Custody
California judges face the same difficulties in child custody disputes that judges in any other state face. Some parents appear in California courtrooms because they disagree about who should have primary custody or because they cannot agree on joint custody decisions. On a day-to-day level, some parents cannot agree on a workable visitation schedule. Disputes arise when miscommunications occur about birthday parties, holiday schedules and even offers to provide temporary childcare. Like Rebecca and Joe, some parents cannot agree on religion, education or even healthcare decisions.
Many of these parents are unable to see the other as a co-parent in their child's upbringing; rather, they see the other parent as an adversary - every issue is viewed from the perspective of winning and losing. When the disputes become bitter, to paraphrase Gore Vidal, it is not enough to win, but the other side must lose.
Thus, when these disputes become intractable, the court must step in to find a solution and a schedule. The danger here is that when parents give decision-making authority to the court, they leave their fates in the hands of a judge who does not have to live with the consequences of her decision.
Potential Resolutions For California Custody Cases
California courts award child custody in a few different forms:
- joint physical and legal custody
- joint legal and sole physical
- sole legal and sole physical
The first, joint physical and legal custody, is the preferred choice of the courts because it allows both parents the chance to be involved in the child's life and major decisions involving the child. Most studies show the value of both parents having meaningful and ongoing relationships with their children. The court will be guided by what resolutions would be in the best interests of the child, and usually, the child will be best served by having both parents present and active in his or her life. Of course, in a few cases, shared custody is not preferred because one parent may abuse drugs or alcohol, be involved in criminal activity, or create an outright threat to the child's safety. In those situations, sole custody may be awarded to the other parent.
In California custody cases involving religious differences, the courts are guided by the decision in re Marriage of Murga, which held that even if one parent has sole legal custody and the right to make ultimate decisions about the child's religion, the other parent still has the right to talk to the child about their own religious beliefs and activities unless the child would be harmed in some way.
In many cases, the best course of action for parents facing divorce is to come to an amicable resolution about child custody, visitation and major decisions about the child. The child will benefit most from having two parents involved in his or her life and activities rather than two adversaries in a court battle.
Article provided by Naimish & Lewis
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